labels and decisions.

More new submissions.  Rethinking older ones. 

Are we giving each one the time it deserves?  We were told to submit to as many as we could, but then it feels like the ones you really want you don't get picked for, and the ones who you weren't really sure on the fit are the ones that come through.

One that we originally said no to keeps coming back to me in my mind and heart.  We didn't read the documents that the caseworker sent, because the initial response had said some things that scared us. 

I need to get it in my head that there are no perfect children...anywhere.  Not just foster kiddos, but any kiddo.  I can't be afraid of 'issues" that she might have.  I am not fearful of some things, like ADD or ADHD, or even Anxiety Adjustment Disorder.  But some are a little more scary.  Mood Disorder for one.

What exactly does that mean?  Are they mentally ill, or is this just a manifestation of something like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Soldiers who are coming back from the war have PTSD.  Are they also suffering from varying types of Mood Disorder? Do they get the help they need? Is it a lifetime disorder or is it something that can be fixed in time?

These questions plague me, gnawing at my brain. So, initially we weren't sure on a little girl we submitted on. 

She seems to have an 'invisible friend' and immediately in the foster kid world that sends up huge red flags to everyone.  Oh, she might be schizophrenic...but then again, countless kiddos who are in 'normal households' have imaginary friends and don't immediately get tagged with these HUGE baggage CLINICAL Brands!

How does one know? What can we handle and what can't we handle?

The key is to keep moving forward in the adoption process until you know for sure that it IS something that you just CANNOT handle.  Keep saying 'YES' until you have to say 'NO' and read up on everything first before you give an answer off the cuff just because initially a word scared you.

What are labels anyway? Who decides if they are permanent or not?  Helen Keller was basically thought to be hopeless.  All it took was one individual who had hope, and perserverance.  Her lifeline came in the form of a stubborn teacher. 

I can be stubborn.  I can be patient.  I can love.  I contacted our adoption worker and asked to be reconsidered.  I finally got the courage to read the documents.  Had to laugh. It wasn't nearly as bad as my mind had made it.

Silly.  Hope renews.

Read the label.  Study on it.  Get as much information as you possibly can.  Then decide.

Labels.