hungerpangs

I saw a lady yesterday who went through the adoption foundation training classes with us.  Her and her husband went through so that they could adopt a niece of theirs, keeping her out of the foster system.  They already had her in their home while they took the class.  (I got to see the beautiful girl a few weeks ago)

I admit it.  I was jealous. Jealous of the fact that she never had to go through all the ups and downs I have gone through with submitting our home study and waiting, waiting, waiting to hear some tiny bit of news.

She has had her share of ups and downs, I am sure. But at least she had the prize right in front of her!

Why is this so hard? We want a child.  A child needs us. Put us together, people!! It isn't rocket science!!

But, then I listen to the news.  A mother who adopted a boy is in the spotlight.  For abuse. How did SHE get to adopt a child anyway? Here we are, wonderful, loving parents...and we have yet to be selected.  How does this happen? 

The selection process is slow.  I guess it has to be. Pick the best parents for that child, or children.  Make sure they can handle the upcoming challenges. Make sure the fit is the best they can make. So, that there are no mistakes.

I am hungry. 

Nothing satisfies this hunger, this yearning.  The gnawing at my heart and soul is a daily occurance.  The pangs I feel are real, not imagined.  They claw at me, demanding my attention.

I yearn for a daughter or daughers. Simple. Plain. Honest truth.

The empty caverness space must be filled, but how can I speed up the process? How can I help it happen?

Hunger pangs.