How many times does the proverbial door of opportunity open anyway?
How many chances does one get?
We were asked to consider two girls, siblings, that needed placement rather quickly. It was to be a newer type of placement, starting with Mentoring them for an undetermined amount of time, then if that worked out, moving on to fostering them, and ultimately adoption.
I have to admit, I do like the idea of that program. It is much less stressful for the kiddos, without the pressure of expectations on their plates. It gives the adopter a chance to get to know the real side of them. I base this statement on my current experiences with mentoring a ten year old girl. She doesn't feel like she has to 'put on an act' for me, she is genuine and real. With no fear of rejection.
The major problem I knew we would have to overcome is their age. My husband agreed to siblings IF they were young, such as "L" and "M" were. I am a whole lot more flexible on that than my husband. I would take a boy/girl group too, but he doesn't want to.
We were sent the files on them, at least part of them. No pictures. No profile. Just a clinical evaluation of them. Two girls, ages 12 and almost 10. Nothing of real concern in the evaluations of them really, other than the normal ranges of Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety (totally expect that!) and ADD or ADHD.
We were supposed to read about them and talk about it and decide. My husband said no.
Our caseworker had mentioned that if we keep saying no, we won't get a child.
Should we just settle then? I am torn. I don't want to lose an opportunity. I don't want to pass up a child/or children if they might end up being the right fit. For an adoption to be a success, there needs to be as many positives as we can possibly fit in. I think settling increases the chance of failure.
In the back of my mind, in the front of my heart...I feel like we need just a little bit younger girl/girls.
How many chances will we get? How many times will opportunity knock on our door?
I am fearful.
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