'nuff said

I got a text today at work from FM (foster mom) of our lovelygirl.

She had taken her to the doctors today, mainly so that a nurse could show her how to take care of hygiene and teach her how to wipe correctly.

Sounds like a gross subject, eh? It's a follow up to yesterdays blog, people! And if you read on, I promise you will come out much more enlightened.

I had told her about an online class I took at http://www.fostercollege.com/ on "Wetting and Soiling" and had really tried hard to figure out into what category lovelygirl was in, so we could get the correct help for her.

FM had told me about her recently beginning to "soil" her pants, with the correct name being "encropesis." I questioned her about when it happens, what does it look like, what does it smell like, is she hiding it etc. She told me that she was removing her undies at school and throwing them away when it happened at school. (HINT: kiddos who do it for protection don't usually try and hide it) And that it was "extremely foul smelling" (another Hint at what it could be) and that it was like pasty almost diarrhea like in constistancy, (another hint) and also that her room stunk to high heaven as well as the bathroom.  She also said that when Lovelygirl took a bath, there were silver dollar sized "flakes" of the stuff floating around in the tub.

So, I had mentioned that it really sound like she had the type in which the child withholds from having a bowel movement.  The reasons they do this are many, and at this point we have no idea why she did.  She had a doctor appointment today, and I am thrilled to say that foster mom actually mentioned it to the doctor and they checked her out.  GUESS WHAT?

She is full of compacted fecal matter.  See, when they don't go, it gets bigger and harder and then they CAN'T go. The results are that some liquid/pasty fecal matter "leaks" around the edges and out into their undies, looking like they had an accident in their pants, or didn't wipe very good.

My poor little lovelygirl...she has been in pain for a long time.  It is painful, just so you know. Think of the last time you were constipated and times that by 100! And yet, she is a delightful, chatty little girl.

Unfortunately, she isn't comfortable telling people what her needs are, or her hurts. She never told anyone, just tried to deal with it as best as she could...all alone, all by herself, with no help.  I am sure she felt shame, and embarrassment when people made fun of her...yet could tell no one.

My heart goes out to my lovelygirl.  I thank God that we found the source and can now begin the treatment plan to help her through this and help her heal from this. I wish I could be there to hold her close and comfort her. I am so thankful that I took our adoption worker's advice and took the online class!

If you are adopting from the foster system, there are many issues these kids have and face everyday.  To not judge them, but to try and find out the reasons behind the behavior and seek to find a way to help them overcome it ARE VITAL!

Take that extra time to LEARN everything you can. Don't just assume that they will suddenly get better in your home, that just being in a permanent home will magically take away all their troubles. 

AFFEC gives you lots of places to learn more. My advice is to do it!

"NUFF SAID!