disjointed.
feeling a bit lost tonight. a month ago, i thought we would have lovelygirl for the thanksgiving break, but we won't. another holiday without her, our daughter. as you can tell, i am not too interested in punctuation or spelling tonight. no, tonight i just feel lost.
i talked to our match assistant worker, a very nice lady by the way, and told her via email that i had seen that lovelygirl was still on the site.
she got it taken care of right away. the next day in fact. thank you "d"!
a huge sigh of relief that no more families out there in cyberspace will see our lovelygirl's smile, and her eyes, and rush to send in their home studies on her.
fm said again to me that she thinks the icpc will take at least 6 months, usually 9 months. will it?
there is still no hearing date to declare her legally free. if she isn't free, she won't be able to come down for a visit over christmas break. she has a lot of stuff going on right now, mainly medical.
lovelygirl is doing better. she has to take laxatives all day long. can this be good for her little body? will it keep nutrients from being able to be absorbed? she needs nutrients, how long will the regiment last? it can't be good for a body to be having bowel movements all day long, can it? i mean, a normal kid isn't expected to have a bm every hour on the hour, why should she?
i worry about her alot. want to be there for her, to help her through this difficult time. to encourage her, give her positive feedback. all those things a mother should do for her daughter. i feel some jealousy that fm is there for her and i am not. not a bad jealousy, but the painful longing kind.
do any of these ramblings make any sense at all?
disjointed.
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