angels we have heard on high

I admit it.

I am one of "those" people. 
The people who love the holidays so much that they start Christmas early. *giggle*

Today, I listened to the Transiberian Orchestra (and all similar) Christmas music on Pandora radio.  I just love listening to it. No singing, just music. Beautiful.

I dragged out a fake tree and set it up in the living room. Why fake? How could I, you ask.  I generally like to have a REAL tree for Christmas, but since I started sooo early, I didn't want to buy two real ones...as the first one would likely be dead and dropping needles well before the yuletides bring Christmas. My boys and their significant others will be coming for Thanksgiving, and I wanted to have some of the holiday decorations up...just a few, to make it feel like it's supposed to feel...magical.

This year, I am full of hope. This year, I am praying that a certain little eight year old girl will at the very least, be able to come for a visit during the holidays.

It would have been nice to have her for real, but very unlikely.  Lovelygirl's birthmom signed the relinquishment papers, but as of yet, we have heard nothing on when the hearing will be in which she becomes legally free. The fact that we didn't have to wait until December 7th to have a TPR hearing is a great present in and of itself, but of course I am hoping for more.

I know that holidays are very hard on foster care kiddos, and adopted ones. They carry many "triggers" that can set them off into various behaviors.

Holidays represent family. And to these kiddos, even if their real families were abusive, they are still their family.

I want to be very sensitive to her moods, and let her know that it's ok to be real with me. It's ok to say she misses her family, or if she cries, or wants some alone time. I want to be intuitive, to spot that slight change in behavior that might be indicitive of a trigger being set off.

I want her needs to be foremost in all of our minds and hearts this holiday season. Her life has been a turmoil.  Let this Christmas be simple, homespun, and full of warmth and love. No huge parties.  Quiet. Peaceful. Silent night.  Holy night.

So, even though I did drag out a fake tree for now. I am full of hope that we can go together, our new little family, and get a real tree in a quiet, out of the way tree farm or something...and decorate it together, her and I, while cookies bake in the oven and Christmas music plays softly in the background.

Lord, set your sweet angels around lovelygirl right now, to keep her safe from harm.  May You bring peace and hope to lovelygirl's heart right now. Guard and protect her, oh fierce and mighty angels, and wrap your heavenly wings about her. Sleep in heavenly peace. Amen.

Selah