fourdays

Four days.

In four days, our lovelygirl will be stamped, (via files) "legally free" and then we can proceed with all the beaucratic happenings.

The pang in my heart lets me know that it hit me again, this unfairness, this sadness, this loss.

In order for us to have our desires; lovelygirl, our lovelygirl herself has to endure the greatest loss of all.  Her birth mother and family.

I don't feel guilty per say, because her loss wasn't my doing.  It was her birthmother who neglected her since birth, her 'legal' father who let a step"mother" beat her, and her family who didn't step forward to take her in.

I don't feel anger towards them. Their lifestyles they chose dictated what path lovelygirl would take, and in their weakness to put her needs first, they lost a most precious gift: darling lovelygirl.

The angst I feel is empathy.  I feel for lovelygirl and the sorrows she will face, the devastating loss she will feel, and the uncertain future she stands facing.

How can I help her? How can I touch her life in a way that a new hope will spring anew?

My prayers are first and foremost for her. I pray God's unfailing love and peace over her. I pray for healing in her heart, mind and soul.  I pray for hope to come alive in her. I pray for strength for her to deal with the scary changes ahead.

4 more days. 4 days and then a new life for her begins.

May it be everything that her first 8 yrs were not. May it begin with love.