Today I stopped by a pumpkin farm near Aurora with my son and his girlfriend. They had already been there with her family and picked their pumpkins, but they wanted me to see it and also to get some yummy pumpkin doughnuts...
It's hard to watch sometimes. The families with the younger kiddos running about, picking pumpkins and laughing with delight. I feel an angst. A longing.
Had really hoped that this year, I would have found my little girl and been able to share this experience with her. I found lovelygirl, but she isn't mine yet.
I look on, just an observer...still.
I know that lovelygirl got to go to a pumpkin patch, pick her pumpkin and go home and carve it.
And I missed it. No pictures of her with her pumpkin. Just wishful thinking.
Again.
I look on, just an observer...still.
Other families get to go and share this. Since my boys are grown and moved out, they usually end up doing these types of outings with their girlfriends.
Friends who do have younger kiddos don't ask me. Maybe pity? I hear about their outings, their excursions...and feel left out.
So, I am not in the exclusive "mom with a young kiddo" club.
I look on, just an observer...still.
Yes, angst rises. Sorrow invades, maybe even a touch of self pity? Can I be honest here?
I look on, just an observer...still.
wishful thinking.
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