HopePerseverance

I got to talk to lovelygirl tonight on the phone. 

She got on and said hello, and her sweet little voice crossed the miles between us, diving straight into my heart.

Someday soon, I hope to be hearing that voice and that laugh every day.  I hope I never take it for granted. All the years wishing and hoping for this. I can't forget to take each day and feel blessed by her being here.

The little voice on one of my shoulders cautions me..."you haven't gotten through the TPR hearing yet...alot could happen...you might not get her you know."

Yes, I do know that. But life is about Hope.  About Believing.  About Persevering.

The voice from the other shoulder throws caution to the wind.  It believes all things, hopes all things.  There is reasoning, to be sure, but if you cave everytime some road block pops up, then you could miss out on the wonderful benefits awaiting you if you do persevere. Like lovelygirl.

If hope is the key, and perseverance is the vehicle, you can cross any mountain. Put 'er in 4 wheel drive and let 'er rip!

Lovelygirl happily chatted for a bit, and then I mentioned something about the zoo, where we had met her.  She got very confused, and started listing the people that were there, and at the end of the sentence she listed "and the people who are going to adopt me."

Which of course floored me. She hadn't even realized who I was at all when she got on the phone and chatted away about school and what not. In her mind, I was probably just another one of those CASA workers that called countless times and wanted to know things.

It saddened me. Because of her world of chaos that she lives in. Being moved from foster family to foster family, having people give up on you. I wouldn't have expected her to recognize my name or voice yet...she barely knows me. No, my saddness isn't for me, it is for her.

Poor little sweet lovelygirl.  So much has happened in your short life. Who can you count on, who can you believe in? What can you hope for? Who do you have that you can truly call YOURS?

After she realized who I was, she still remained chatty and talked about things, but I definitely get the impression she isn't ENTIRELY sure what ADOPTION means.

My heart aches for all the kiddos in foster system.  They don't know when they are coming or going. They try to hold on to the fast moving train and gain footing somehow. Life is hard enough without all the added traumas and losses these kiddos endure.

I strengthen my resolve.  I grit my teeth, and jut my jaw.  My hands are clenched as I climb up into my ride.  This ride wasn't built for smooth, easy transportation...this ride is made to climb the toughest hills and steepest terrain. 

With HOPE as my key, and PERSEVERANCE as my ride I am ready to go. Ya gotta have both!