lovelygirl and me

lovelygirl and me

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Three Months

Three months.

So, today is exactly 3 months since lovelygirl came to live with us permamently.  In some ways, it seems like she just got here.  In other ways, it seems a lot longer than three months.

Three months.

Three months of adjusting. Three months of testing.  Three months of learning new ways. This is only the tip of the iceberg. We have only scratched the surface of what lovelygirl is inside. 

Three months.

School is out now. Summer is here.  Lovelygirl has gone camping with us.  She has started swim lessons.  She has lived the everyday life of our family. 

Some parts she likes, and some she doesn't.  She thought that adoption was some disneyland-type fairy tale.  She thought she would have no rules, and all the presents and food she could ever want. 

Sadly for her, this isn't the case.  We are a normal family.  We have rules. Rules that she has been told to abide by.  No lying. No fits. No sassing. No disrespecting people or things.

Tough rules for her to swallow.

Yes, she lies.  Yes, she throws fits.  Yes, she sasses. Yes, she disrespects others and things.

We were aware of all these traits that would begin to show up after the "honeymoon" period is over.  You are taught these things in the adoption classes, aren't you?  But hearing it, and reading about it doesn't really prepare you for the things that you didn't expect.

Such as, her eating with her hands like a toddler. Stuffing her mouth with food, smearing it all over her face and hands...and clothes.  She is 9.  But, in this area of her life, she seems to have gotten stuck.  I fear we will need to get a bib, and put her in the high chair. Never did I expect to see a nine year old eat like this. She doesn't want to use utensils. And when asked to, drops food all over the floor like some neandrethal cave dweller. 

Well, life needs to be lived with a huge amount of FLEXIBLENESS.  Right?! Each day, we see new things that astound us.  Each day there are new behaviors to deal with. 

Of course, there are also those little things that endear us to her.  Those things we call her "SAVING GRACE" (mainly because if she didn't have those little things, we couldn't go on!!!)

We are learning.  You have to.  In order to stay on this roller coaster ride called ADOPTION.  You learn which corners to sway at, which ones to hang on tight, and you learn to try and have fun, even when you are scared to death!

When you have a biological child, you begin loving them before they even enter the world.  With these kiddos, it takes time.  Some days, I feel that love for her blooming like a fragile little orchid.  Other days, I don't really like her at all.  All natural feelings. All totally normal.  Sigh.

Three months. 

A lifetime to go.

2 comments:

  1. Inquiring minds want to know... how's it going?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry for the lack of posting! I will try to "catch everyone up" soon! Just been busy being a mommy!

    ReplyDelete