lovelygirl and me

lovelygirl and me

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

just paddle




Launching onto that vast and flowing river allows your soul a choice; the choice to leave all baggage and hurts behind on the shores.

The river accepts you just as you are. It doesn’t judge you. It has no feelings towards you at all. In a world of discrimination and unfair favoritism, the river remains neutral. The river accepts you; just as you are.

The cool waters part as you glide in, and allow access. Open. Inviting. Ready to teach its life lessons.

Panoramic views await your hungry eyes. The tip of your kayak juts out in front of you; and points the way. Herons, ducks and bald eagles delight. Fall leaves are sprinkled liberally now in the varying hues of green.

Trickling streams race eagerly to join the river, adding to the vastness. Occasional flapping wings startle and delight. Wildlife abounds.

The river is neutral. And yet, it teaches.

On my river, danger lurks beneath calm surfaces. Hidden to the novice eye, the current snakes its way through the center, only showing occasional glimpses of its raw power in the small swirls and eddys that show atop the water.

The river can take you in a completely different place than you intended. If you aren't careful, you can end up in the rapids or even whitewater, and one wrong turn can cost you your life, or at least life as you had intended it to be.

As I guide my kayak along my river, I attempt to release my pain and let it flow into the waters. I am alone in my journey through life, and it pains me. No one is there to guide me, and help me navigate. I must attempt my river alone.

The fact that my river accepts me brings some measure of comfort, yet the loneliness engulfs me; black sheep as I am.

My river cares not.

Just paddle. Breathe. One stroke, and then the next; just make it around that far bend. There should be friendly shores ahead. Just paddle.

Having a map would help. But in life, there are no maps. No guarantees of where you will end your journey, no sure thing.

I simply must learn to read the river. Look for the clues, and adjust my kayak to those clues. Up ahead, there are forks that could keep me from the main channel, and the strongest current. I can keep to the shallows or hug the bank, afraid to venture into the rapids.

The river shrugs, but does not stop for me. Sink or swim, paddle or perish. I must make the effort. She is on her own journey to the ocean. To her own end. She cares not for mine.

My choices dictate where I go.

For now, I simply paddle.

1 comment:

  1. It's been awhile since you've posted. How's it going?

    ReplyDelete